A blog post that kind of morphed into an open letter to John Kerry
John Kerry has got to go Howard Dean. There's no way around it. His circumlocution and Senatese, his professional courtesy, everything about him that the world sees on a day-to-day-basis is tailor made to be ripped apart by some asshole like George W. Bush. For God's sake, this guy could be saying "let's nuke Japan again" and he'd be winning the battle for the minds of America, because
at least he's fighting for them. George W. Bush is campaigning like Patton. He's put all his forces in order, and he's bulling straight ahead with absolute efficiency. Kerry is fucking around like Marshal Petain. A little effort over here, a little over there, oh no, better not fight over here, it might be inconvenient, and I'm sure he wouldn't attack through the Ardennes, so I'll just ignore that. Jesus Christ, John, you're getting slaughtered piecemeal! What in bloody hell is your platform? You've got fiscal policies, environmental policies, social policies, the works, and you just keep sending them into battle once at a time, not connected, not supporting each other, and they're getting murdered. Damn it all, John, you were in the military. You of all people should know that you can have the best troops, or ideas, in the world, and if they're not organized, they're going to get slaughtered! Damn it, John,
you have the better ideas. You have the better troops. But where the
fuck is the leadership? And then there's foreign policy. That's the battlefield this election is going to be fought on. You tried to draw him into the domestic arena, but it didn't work. That's North Africa. Foreign Policy is Europe. This is where the war is going to be decided.
So what the hell is your battle plan? You can beat him on every issue, and he'd still win. Why? Because his army is going somewhere. You?re just playing defense. And it's appropriate that I call him an army and talk about you like you?re playing a game, because that's what it looks like. He comes out and says "we're going to remake the world in our image", and you respond with "yeah, but you're not being sensitive enough while you do it." How about "what the fuck are you talking about, George? Are you fucking insane?" You can't just keep on saying "I agree with everything he says, but we should have done it better." How about "I gave George Bush authority to go to war with Iraq because I love my country and would do anything to protect her from harm. I didn't give him authority to go on some crazy-ass crusade to overthrow the governments of half the Middle East." And if his Swift Boat surrogates go after you one more time, how about you finally say "You know what? You decide for yourself whether I deserved my medals or not. The fact is, I was still fucking there, getting my ass shot at for my country, while George Bush was getting drunk off his ass while AWOL from the Champagne Battalion in the Texas Air national Guard. I'm sick and tired of these idiots telling me I didn't bleed enough to cover up the fact that their guy was a drunken embarrassment to his family. You want to spend any more time digging up my past, be my guest, because anything you find is still gonna leave me 20 miles ahead of George W. Bush." John, I don't know what you're planning. I don't know what you've got up your sleeve. But this is no game. You have to win. I'll back you - we'll all back you - but I swear to God, if you're fucking around, if you lose this thing to that asshole because you didn?t try hard enough, I will never forgive you. Your name will go down in history as "the guy that let George Bush win". What ever wars, whatever misery he is responsible for in his second term will be on your conscience. So pack it up, soldier. We've got work to do.
Update: You might want to note that I posted this at 4:16 AM. That may explain a few things.